In my sometimes sick curiosity about how it is to actually live in Italy, I have read a lot of expat blogs and expat forums lately. Today I ran into a forum of expats in Italy and got my attention attracted by a topic that sounded somehow like “Is there really happiness there?” I got intrigued by how many people went to live in Italy with ha bag full of dreams and hopes, only to conclude a few months later that it actually sucks. I posted the below text on the forum (yes, sometimes I just cannot keep my mouth shut) but I also feel like sharing it here.
I think that the most common reason why some expats end up feeling like crap in Italy is the fact that, before moving there, they had expected to be living in Italy the way they had been living in their native country (I saw there are a lot of Americans and British people here on this forum). Well, sorry to be just "another one who says it", guys, but that's impossible. Countries are different, people are different, cultures and habits are different. What is seen as "normal" by an American could be seen as "WTF??? seriously? are you kidding me??" by an Italian (and the other way around). It will ALWAYS be like this. There is no such thing as "the perfect country", as well as there is no such thing as a global general standard for well-being. Ok, we are all inhabitants of the Global Village, but you cannot expect things to be the same everywhere.
It's only a matter of getting informed BEFORE you make the move. Thank God for blogs and forums and books. One can get loads of information on what's good, what's bad, feelings and impressions of others, etc. It's not like you're heading on a boat to a desert island where no-one has ever been before.
And then it's a matter of putting the pro's and con's into a balance. Then, it's a matter of setting up a well-secured and sustainable plan before you live, taking the possible "hardships" into consideration.
I've seen a lot of people around there complaining about bureaucracy and obstacles within the administrative system. But let's face it... each country has its own rythm of doing things. And besides, the whole bureaucracy thing seems more difficult because you're not Italian. It's normal for them to ask endless paperwork for everything, just because we are strangers. If I want to move to the US tomorrow, I will probably give up even before starting, and only because of these obstacles. Yes, ok, you would say, but the US have been literally bombarded with immigrants, for tens of years. Well guess what... so has been Italy. Just reflect a bit on this.
I've also seen people there saying that there are so many dysfunctions in the way that Italy goes, it's in a crisis, Berlusconi didn't actually ever do anything, the new government sucks, etc. Aren't the US in a crisis too? Or other countries? The crisis is almost everywhere. It just happens differently in different countries.
In my opinion, there IS happiness in all this process of moving and living abroad (and especially to Italy). There is, IF you use your head while doing the move. There are so many beautiful things to discover out there. As long as you focus on discovering the good things instead of whining around about why it isn't like it used to be in your former cozy home. As long as you admit that you are moving to a different way of living, and as long as you don't try to bring your own country with you in the suitcase. You want your own country? Well... stay there, or return there. If there's a way to Italy, there's always also a way back. Or just accept the fact that in order to fit in your new country, you need to re-format yourself.
I am fully aware that the reason why I chose to move to Italy may be not necessarily the place itself, and I am fully aware that I'm associating the beauty of being there, with the beauty of being with a certain person. I am aware that, if things don't go well, I might end up hating Italy. But I am willing to face this risk and make the step, keeping in mind that I always have "back home" as a safety net. Maybe that's the way most of us should do it: try a temporary thing at first, to see what living there actually means, and only then, if you still like it, do crazy things like selling your house, car and belongings, and transfer your entire life to Italy.
And, if you managed to have the patience to read until here, I will end my "happiness novel" with a cliche: "When in Rome, do like the Romans!" It CANNOT be more true anywhere else than in Italy.
Love,
La Reina Rana
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